Cats have never really turned me on to be sure. Like many people I find them to be slightly sinister, lazy, manipulative and condescending. I have never owned a cat nor will. I have never, to my knowledge killed one either but I may one day. You see, an old friend Takis Kontogiannis of Rethymno explained to me his suprise when he was first in England seeing cars evade cats. He said to me :

” ha ha, I could not believe it, in Greece we try to hit them, in England you try to miss them, why?”

So Cats, what is it about these felines which provoke such adoration. I mean I am totally cold about them but many people go weak at the knees at a little purring.

So I will set out to try to find what makes these cat people tick, What is it about them? They are mostly girls of course but even some blokes like cats - why? .

So many questions I need answering. I am going to interview Rob soon, an apparently red blooded, normal male ( hmm I think he may be veggie maybe that is a clue ) who loves cats. He even has a blog all about cats to Cats at Planetmeow. Maybe we can explain the inexplicable if we read his musings.

With home security in the news more and more these days it is not just sufficient to insure your property, you need to take preventative measures in order to reduce the likelihood of criminal attack and to discourage potential burglars at the same time.

The installation of a Burglar Alarm System can go a long way in giving you peace of mind whilst securing your private property from criminals.

Traditionally burglar alarm systems have been hard wired installations which require quite a lot of work to install. However recent developments in wireless technology has brough a range of easy to fit and reliable wireless burglar alarms. These are far easier to assemble, fit and implement that their predecessors. No longer does one need to route cables all around your guttering.

A typical alarm of this sort now comes with the following components : Door Contact, PIR Detectors, they are easily programmable and require very little time to configure.

Personally I spend my evenings patrolling aroung the house with a sawn-off pump action shotgun, a squeezee bottle full of pH1 H₂SO₄, a cordless drill and cable ties. (the blowtorch is available for use after I have aprehended any miscreant). Luckily my mate up the road deals in garden antiques and has a nice acid bath for body disposal.

I don’t think we have a red light district here in Brighton, of course I have seen cards in the phone boxes (these appear to have vanished now ) but that is the only real evidence I have that there is a sex industry in the town.

Apparently other towns have red light districts where prostitutes ply their trade on the streets.

The recent conviction of Steven Wright the famous Radio 2 DJ, well known for his Sunday Love Songs hour, for the murder of 5 prostitutes in Ipswich has raised public awareness of these vulnerable professions in our midst. The town of Bournemouth has even taken the step of supplying personal alarms to its legions of streetwalkers.

Chief Superintendent Bob Boulton, head of Bournemouth and Poole Police, said prostitutes are vulnerable because of the very nature of their job.

Chief Supt Boulton said: “Offering personal alarms is just one of a range of steps intended to increase safety. We also offer personal safety advice, and there are outreach workers available who provide support and advice to the working women.”I’d like to re-assure everyone in Bournemouth, working women in particular, that we are committed to keeping them safe, and I’d urge anyone who has any worries or safety concerns to contact Bournemouth police straight away.”

I dont know if they are likely to roll out this in Brighton as, for some reason the ‘ladies of the night’ either fear the streets or have cozy bordellos to work from. Maybe there just is not the same level of urges amongst Brighton residents, who knows. For sure a personal alarm per Hooker is a nice idea to be sure.

If they really want to protect themselves they could opt for the ‘prototype’ *above* Personal Alarm Shoe for Prostitutes which have a built in personal alarm, emitting a piercing noice and also contain a GPS transmitter to allow them to be located in case of emergency.

My garden has long been rather overgrown, there are voraciously rampant brambles which creep, like invading armies over any unclaimed ground, extending their tendrils over discarded itmes as if, even, to saprophytically suck the goodness from them.

Disconcerted, rather, by this, I stormed in one balmy spring morning with a hefty machete and cut back the offending vegetation. True I will have depleted our winter blackberry supply, but it revealed at least a further 10 square meters of garden.

What to do with it though? I considered a new wendy house as I have long wanted to get a good one for the kids

and for me to use in the evenings, sitting in there, with laptop stealing a neighbours internet connection with a scotch and a cigar sounds nice

But this would not do, I wanted a touch of class in that corner, a touch of the old world, I have seen some wonderful garden antiques of late in a friends warehouse, all manner of solid stone urns and pedestals; beautifully weathered and lichen covered stuatues in terracotta, marble and bronze.

I want either a birdbath or other similair architectural feature in the garden………I must have it.

I should mention Dans Website : garden antiques.